Susan, thank you for this heart wrenching poem. I resonate with so much of it. Very similar circumstances with my mom. That balance of keeping her agency and needing help. Four children who actually live very close by but the stress of caring for our mother has impacted our relationships.
Every time I get a call from my mom, my siblings, I think this is it. Every trip to the hospital--5 in the last year--we think this is it. Mom wants to be home and she wants to be with my dad in Heaven. It's a daily tightrope and she can go either way at any time.
I'm glad you were able to get that important paperwork completed. I hope it reduces some stress and gives everyone peace of mind.
thank you for comments. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It is heart wrenching and it’s like you are and I was pre-grieving our mother’s for years- never knowing how and when. Being in that limbo creates a lot of anxiety. We want to help them but they are strong willed. It sounds like you have a similar situation. My mom did finally get home to Hospice, but not to her home sadly (which is what she wanted) but to my brother‘s home. Do I think she was OK with it and glad she wasn’t in the hospitalI mean, she knew exactly where she was going, but since was bedridden it didn’t really matter at that point if it was her house or my brothers house. The main thing is that we were all around her. I too have three sibling so it sounds pretty similar to your situation. We all took turns being at our Mom’s bedside and it was rough, but she finally did pass end of November.
Now I’m on the other side-grieving. I. spoke to her on the phone every single day for years, so there is a big void. It feels pretty lonely. I miss our conversations. I know she’s at peace, in Heaven and no longer suffering. now my siblings and I have a tough job of cleaning out her condo and taking some of her stuff home and giving the resy away. This is tough too and surreal.
I wish you well in your situation. Keep your strength up. I know I was quite sleep deprived and I’ve been catching up now. Know that you are a devoted daughter. You won’t regret all the love and caring that you gave her. This gives me a some peace of mind now; that I was there for my mom , and nothing can take that away. Wr are here to love and sometimes we lose those that we love. It is important that we care while they’re there, as painful as it is to see our parents deteriorate. But it’s also a sacred path to be there at end of life . Good luck.🥰
Yes, very similar circumstances, and I'm sorry I missed it if you posted that your mom passed. I was MIA to much during that time.
I do savor these moments with my mom when we can enjoy our time together and not be at odds--whether helping her pay bills, getting her dressed, having home care come in when she simply wishes she could do all of this herself.
My mother gave so much to all of us throughout our lives and my wish is to care for her with love and dignity. She deserves that for sure. AND--to also care for myself as you expressed. It can be both and it's hard.
Sending you much love and hoping that your mother sends you signs and visits in your dreams. ❤️
Love and hugs, dear Susan. I'm with you in spirit. I'm relieved she agreed to the Health Proxy and PoA, and you managed to move her to the hospice. Gentle hugs for Midge.
You’re a wonderful daughter, Susan. My heart aches for you, Paul and your siblings. I’m praying for your mom and family. Sending lots of love!
Susan, thank you for this heart wrenching poem. I resonate with so much of it. Very similar circumstances with my mom. That balance of keeping her agency and needing help. Four children who actually live very close by but the stress of caring for our mother has impacted our relationships.
Every time I get a call from my mom, my siblings, I think this is it. Every trip to the hospital--5 in the last year--we think this is it. Mom wants to be home and she wants to be with my dad in Heaven. It's a daily tightrope and she can go either way at any time.
I'm glad you were able to get that important paperwork completed. I hope it reduces some stress and gives everyone peace of mind.
Sending love and comfort to you all. ❤️
Janine,
thank you for comments. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It is heart wrenching and it’s like you are and I was pre-grieving our mother’s for years- never knowing how and when. Being in that limbo creates a lot of anxiety. We want to help them but they are strong willed. It sounds like you have a similar situation. My mom did finally get home to Hospice, but not to her home sadly (which is what she wanted) but to my brother‘s home. Do I think she was OK with it and glad she wasn’t in the hospitalI mean, she knew exactly where she was going, but since was bedridden it didn’t really matter at that point if it was her house or my brothers house. The main thing is that we were all around her. I too have three sibling so it sounds pretty similar to your situation. We all took turns being at our Mom’s bedside and it was rough, but she finally did pass end of November.
Now I’m on the other side-grieving. I. spoke to her on the phone every single day for years, so there is a big void. It feels pretty lonely. I miss our conversations. I know she’s at peace, in Heaven and no longer suffering. now my siblings and I have a tough job of cleaning out her condo and taking some of her stuff home and giving the resy away. This is tough too and surreal.
I wish you well in your situation. Keep your strength up. I know I was quite sleep deprived and I’ve been catching up now. Know that you are a devoted daughter. You won’t regret all the love and caring that you gave her. This gives me a some peace of mind now; that I was there for my mom , and nothing can take that away. Wr are here to love and sometimes we lose those that we love. It is important that we care while they’re there, as painful as it is to see our parents deteriorate. But it’s also a sacred path to be there at end of life . Good luck.🥰
Yes, very similar circumstances, and I'm sorry I missed it if you posted that your mom passed. I was MIA to much during that time.
I do savor these moments with my mom when we can enjoy our time together and not be at odds--whether helping her pay bills, getting her dressed, having home care come in when she simply wishes she could do all of this herself.
My mother gave so much to all of us throughout our lives and my wish is to care for her with love and dignity. She deserves that for sure. AND--to also care for myself as you expressed. It can be both and it's hard.
Sending you much love and hoping that your mother sends you signs and visits in your dreams. ❤️
Sending love and light during this transition time.
Thank you for sharing this very personal journey ❤️
Love and hugs, dear Susan. I'm with you in spirit. I'm relieved she agreed to the Health Proxy and PoA, and you managed to move her to the hospice. Gentle hugs for Midge.