"Outdoors, on that cool sunny day, the air held a promise of new life. Indoors, just steps away, the air was laden with the heaviness of impending death and the scent of a lavender candle. I planted normal that day"
What only a bereaved mother can feel and express. What only a bereaved mother can feel and understand. What no parent should ever have to know & go through. Susan, I see you, feel you, hold you … yet there is no way that I can know your pain, even though we as bereaved mothers bear similar cross on our hearts & souls. My son Utkarsh, a healthy bright & quietly content boy, transcended at 22, on one of the happiest day for him, with an undetected cardiac condition triggering the sudden silent cardiac arrest.
Laura & Utkarsh died. Yet they can't die as long as they continue throbbing in your & my heart.
Keep planting pansies dear friend. Stay warm & stay strong, for whatever ‘strength’ would mean to a bereaved mother. Love
Neena, Thank you! Thank you! And yes-you know my pain- better than many- true that we all internalize our own situations and our grief is very individual- but this deep pain that you, and other bereaved parents feel and are forever challenged to transcend daily to stay rooted in our earthly lives is a similar warrior like effort made softer with our own special ways to honor our loved one. I am deeply saddened to hear of your abrupt and tragic loss of your happy and seemingly healthy son, Utkarsh. I have known only two cases of a hidden deadly arrhythmia. You, with no warning at all and me with a long protracted illness- are both left to struggle with very different kinds of grief. I am so sorry for your devastating situation. You are making your son proud and he beautifully remembered in your poetry, books, and how you help so many find healing and meaning on their own grief journeys. your work matters. I am a grateful recipient. Much love- kindred Soul! 🙏❤️
"Every year, I plant joy bringing pansies in a world without Laura, in a world devoid of what brought me the most joy. Laura is no longer here with me to plant with, but there will still be lots of pansies in my flower boxes, in the garden, and at Laura’s grave in the cemetery." - - beautiful. I love the close connection you sense with her spirit when you tend to the pansies. <3
Thank you for your kindness. Yes there has been much pain in our tremendous loss. The joy we shared during Laura’s life is still keeping us warm still and afloat.
"Outdoors, on that cool sunny day, the air held a promise of new life. Indoors, just steps away, the air was laden with the heaviness of impending death and the scent of a lavender candle. I planted normal that day"
What only a bereaved mother can feel and express. What only a bereaved mother can feel and understand. What no parent should ever have to know & go through. Susan, I see you, feel you, hold you … yet there is no way that I can know your pain, even though we as bereaved mothers bear similar cross on our hearts & souls. My son Utkarsh, a healthy bright & quietly content boy, transcended at 22, on one of the happiest day for him, with an undetected cardiac condition triggering the sudden silent cardiac arrest.
Laura & Utkarsh died. Yet they can't die as long as they continue throbbing in your & my heart.
Keep planting pansies dear friend. Stay warm & stay strong, for whatever ‘strength’ would mean to a bereaved mother. Love
Neena, Thank you! Thank you! And yes-you know my pain- better than many- true that we all internalize our own situations and our grief is very individual- but this deep pain that you, and other bereaved parents feel and are forever challenged to transcend daily to stay rooted in our earthly lives is a similar warrior like effort made softer with our own special ways to honor our loved one. I am deeply saddened to hear of your abrupt and tragic loss of your happy and seemingly healthy son, Utkarsh. I have known only two cases of a hidden deadly arrhythmia. You, with no warning at all and me with a long protracted illness- are both left to struggle with very different kinds of grief. I am so sorry for your devastating situation. You are making your son proud and he beautifully remembered in your poetry, books, and how you help so many find healing and meaning on their own grief journeys. your work matters. I am a grateful recipient. Much love- kindred Soul! 🙏❤️
warm resonant hug dear kindred soul-sister ... stay in light & grace
"Every year, I plant joy bringing pansies in a world without Laura, in a world devoid of what brought me the most joy. Laura is no longer here with me to plant with, but there will still be lots of pansies in my flower boxes, in the garden, and at Laura’s grave in the cemetery." - - beautiful. I love the close connection you sense with her spirit when you tend to the pansies. <3
Thanks jeannie! i need to catch up on your posts, which I always love! I got behind in reading & in posting- busy end of school year for me. 🥰
Thank you for your kindness. Yes there has been much pain in our tremendous loss. The joy we shared during Laura’s life is still keeping us warm still and afloat.