A beautiful, poignant insight into your grieving process and an important reminder that grief lives on. Thank you for letting us join you momentarily on your journey 🩷
Thank you for reading and for your impressions. Yes- grief does live on, and it brings new related losses along the way. While others may consider it a loss of the past, it carries forward into the future in new & painful ways.
This is so piercingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing so generously.
I turned 37 in June last year so I guess Laura was born in 1986 like me. As I read this I remember the year I turned 14. It was one of the most joy-filled times of my life. There was something so exciting about being alive at the turn of the new millennium. There's something very moving to me, in the idea of being preserved at that age.
Rahma, Thank you for reading sharing your feeling of a personal connection to Laura at age 14. Laura too was vibrant and full of life at the turn of the millennium. She loved her life, her friends, did crafts and listened to country music. I like how you put that-“…being preserved at that age…” Yes, picturing my daughter like that is a comfort. She was a beam of light- and still is from her spiritual world. She was full of dreams and hope for her future, as i imagine you also were at that age. You were Laura’s peer! So wonderful to imagine that. I hope you are living out some of those dreams now, and that life is being kind to you! 🙏❤️
A poignant and beautiful mediation by a bereaved mother on her daughter's birthday. For myself, as a woman who has mourned the children she longed for but never met, these lines resonated deeply:
"The bereaved parent has no visible prosthesis to alert onlookers that trauma has occurred, and is being managed. The wound, the hole, the pain from the lack of one’s child, this missing piece invisible to others, becomes integrated within our beings like a bacteria resistant to antibiotics."
Sending love to all who walk around with invisible wounds; which is probably all of us, eventually...
Wow! Thank you for your resonance, soul sister. I am sorry that you too harbor this pain. Thank you for your work as you courageously walk this path with me where we each strive to make the invisible visible, to be seen and heard.
Susan, I am deeply moved by the tenderness and authenticity in your eloquent birthday tribute. As always, you are honoring and cherishing Laura on her birthday. I am sure that Laura continues to feel your love. Your understanding of grief as a bereaved parent is truly profound. Laura was particularly blessed to have miraculously devoted parents. She was a gift to the world and her loving spirit lives on because of you. The photo of Laura with her cousin perfectly captures her joy and sweetness. I miss her, and I am grateful for the opportunity to reflect and learn as I read your moving posts.
You have been here for us since the beginning; before Laura, from Laura’s birth, lifetime, and death. You have stayed the course through these past & long 22 years, with unwavering dedication. We still meet together at the cemetery, and for breakfast on or around Laura’s anniversaries and birthdays- of which I am eternally grateful. You are both a loyal fan of Laura and of us as her parents.
Many still continue to pledge their love for Laura ( which I am so thankful and grateful for), while a select few have been able to continue through the passage of time; to chat with us about our previous life as parents, or the ongoing lifelong efforts to manage our grief. People move on- but you stay the course! Thank you!
Also, your enthusiasm for my retelling of our story in writing is helping to propel me forward!
Susan dear your reminisce tugs at the heartstrings. Each word resonates, not just because I am a fellow bereaved mother. More because of the deep invisiblised forever-raw ache of a mother's grief, how you live with it, and still sustain your abiding love with meaning & grace.
May Laura's presence always keep your heart warm, and your white t-shirt adorned with her favourite colours of purple, blue, turquoise. Once again happy birthday Laura
And happy birthday to your younger daughter Melissa. It is 16th July here in India as I write this note.
May both your daughters' love dance like a rainbow in the skies.
Dear Neena, I thank you. You are my loyal supporter and heart linked comrade on this journey. I also thank you for your comments, and your own writing & insights on your Substack site.
Though I would be thrilled to be Melissa’s mother as well, she is my niece, my sister Pam’s daughter, Laura’s cousin. Sadly for us only child parents, with loss- we do not have the ability to keep on parenting , but I do stay close to Laura’s cousins. melissa and I go out each year to celebrate all our birthdays in July (mine, Laura’s and hers) We talk and talk. I cherish our time together, as I do with Karen- another cousin on my side of the family. There will be posts about these things ( only child loss &! cousin love) at some point.
Yes-I love that image you provided of Laura and Melissa dancing together…..and yes-Happy Birthday to Melissa on her birthday today! Love to you too! 💜💜
Happy birthday Laura ❤️ what a beautiful tribute.
My prayers are with you. I know how you feel I lost my only sibling almost two years ago and it's still hard to believe she's gone.
I am sorry for your loss Terra, of your sister. sibling is a very profound loss. I imagine.
Thank you for reading my writing.
A beautiful, poignant insight into your grieving process and an important reminder that grief lives on. Thank you for letting us join you momentarily on your journey 🩷
Thank you for reading and for your impressions. Yes- grief does live on, and it brings new related losses along the way. While others may consider it a loss of the past, it carries forward into the future in new & painful ways.
This is so piercingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing so generously.
I turned 37 in June last year so I guess Laura was born in 1986 like me. As I read this I remember the year I turned 14. It was one of the most joy-filled times of my life. There was something so exciting about being alive at the turn of the new millennium. There's something very moving to me, in the idea of being preserved at that age.
The t-shirt looks beautifully vibrant.
Rahma, Thank you for reading sharing your feeling of a personal connection to Laura at age 14. Laura too was vibrant and full of life at the turn of the millennium. She loved her life, her friends, did crafts and listened to country music. I like how you put that-“…being preserved at that age…” Yes, picturing my daughter like that is a comfort. She was a beam of light- and still is from her spiritual world. She was full of dreams and hope for her future, as i imagine you also were at that age. You were Laura’s peer! So wonderful to imagine that. I hope you are living out some of those dreams now, and that life is being kind to you! 🙏❤️
A poignant and beautiful mediation by a bereaved mother on her daughter's birthday. For myself, as a woman who has mourned the children she longed for but never met, these lines resonated deeply:
"The bereaved parent has no visible prosthesis to alert onlookers that trauma has occurred, and is being managed. The wound, the hole, the pain from the lack of one’s child, this missing piece invisible to others, becomes integrated within our beings like a bacteria resistant to antibiotics."
Sending love to all who walk around with invisible wounds; which is probably all of us, eventually...
Wow! Thank you for your resonance, soul sister. I am sorry that you too harbor this pain. Thank you for your work as you courageously walk this path with me where we each strive to make the invisible visible, to be seen and heard.
Susan, I am deeply moved by the tenderness and authenticity in your eloquent birthday tribute. As always, you are honoring and cherishing Laura on her birthday. I am sure that Laura continues to feel your love. Your understanding of grief as a bereaved parent is truly profound. Laura was particularly blessed to have miraculously devoted parents. She was a gift to the world and her loving spirit lives on because of you. The photo of Laura with her cousin perfectly captures her joy and sweetness. I miss her, and I am grateful for the opportunity to reflect and learn as I read your moving posts.
Peggy,
You have been here for us since the beginning; before Laura, from Laura’s birth, lifetime, and death. You have stayed the course through these past & long 22 years, with unwavering dedication. We still meet together at the cemetery, and for breakfast on or around Laura’s anniversaries and birthdays- of which I am eternally grateful. You are both a loyal fan of Laura and of us as her parents.
Many still continue to pledge their love for Laura ( which I am so thankful and grateful for), while a select few have been able to continue through the passage of time; to chat with us about our previous life as parents, or the ongoing lifelong efforts to manage our grief. People move on- but you stay the course! Thank you!
Also, your enthusiasm for my retelling of our story in writing is helping to propel me forward!
With love and gratitde! 💜🙏
SusAn you wrote fabulously well. This must become a book. Xxx Trudy
Trudy, Thank you! Thank you! I am looking forward to getting together to talk about it & growing this into a book- my dream!!! 💜Love to you!
Happy Birthday dear Laura
And warm birthday love for proud mom Susan
Susan dear your reminisce tugs at the heartstrings. Each word resonates, not just because I am a fellow bereaved mother. More because of the deep invisiblised forever-raw ache of a mother's grief, how you live with it, and still sustain your abiding love with meaning & grace.
May Laura's presence always keep your heart warm, and your white t-shirt adorned with her favourite colours of purple, blue, turquoise. Once again happy birthday Laura
And happy birthday to your younger daughter Melissa. It is 16th July here in India as I write this note.
May both your daughters' love dance like a rainbow in the skies.
Dear Neena, I thank you. You are my loyal supporter and heart linked comrade on this journey. I also thank you for your comments, and your own writing & insights on your Substack site.
Though I would be thrilled to be Melissa’s mother as well, she is my niece, my sister Pam’s daughter, Laura’s cousin. Sadly for us only child parents, with loss- we do not have the ability to keep on parenting , but I do stay close to Laura’s cousins. melissa and I go out each year to celebrate all our birthdays in July (mine, Laura’s and hers) We talk and talk. I cherish our time together, as I do with Karen- another cousin on my side of the family. There will be posts about these things ( only child loss &! cousin love) at some point.
Yes-I love that image you provided of Laura and Melissa dancing together…..and yes-Happy Birthday to Melissa on her birthday today! Love to you too! 💜💜